动物搞笑英语笑话

　　在动物之间也有很多搞笑的笑话，不但好笑还能够补充英语知识，下面是小编精心整理的动物英语故事，欢迎大家阅读和学习。

　　动物笑话： 我没法煮它

　　t's sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing. Suddenly the fishing rod moves. "Great! Oh, it's so heavy!" Miss Cat says happily.

　　The fish is plucked out of the river. "Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!" She cheers. But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.

　　At the time Mr. Horse goes by and sees it. "What do you set it free?" He asks. "Because my pot is too small. I can't cook it," Miss Cat says.

　　这是春天里一个阳光明媚的日子，猫小姐在河边钓鱼。突然鱼竿动了动。“太棒了!哇，好重啊!”猫小姐高兴地喊着。

　　鱼被拉出来了。“啊!一条大鱼!这条大鱼可真大呀!”她欢呼道。但是她却把鱼放回河里，又继续钓鱼。

　　这时候马先生路过，看见这一切，就问她：“为什么你把鱼放了?” “因为我的锅太小。我没办法烧这么大的鱼。”猫小姐回答说。

　　动物笑话： 奔跑的小白兔

　　A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

　　Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his coke, then tosses it and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

　　The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up and the rabbit again says, "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"

　　The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the hell out of the rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"

　　The lion answers, "He makes me run around the forest like an idiot each time he's on ecstasy!"

　　有一只小白兔快乐地奔跑在森林中，在路上它碰到一只正在卷大麻的长颈鹿。小白兔看着长颈鹿说道：“长颈鹿我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢?和我一起在森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉心情舒畅很多!”长颈鹿看看小白兔，又看看手里的大麻烟，把大麻烟向身后一扔，跟着小白兔在森林中奔跑。

　　后来它们遇到一只正准备吸食可卡因的大象，小白兔又对大象说：“大象我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢?想想自己的健康啊。跟我们一起在这片美丽的森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉好很多!”大象看看它们，又看看手中的可卡因，于是把可卡因向身后一扔，跟着小白兔和长颈鹿一起奔跑。

　　后来它们遇到一只正准备注射毒品的狮子，小白兔又对狮子说：“狮子我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢?想想自己的健康啊!跟我们一起在这片阳光明媚的森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉如此美好!”

　　狮子看看小白兔，放下手中的针筒，把小白兔猛揍了一顿。长颈鹿和大象被吓坏了，它们看着狮子问它：“狮子，你为什么要打小白兔呢?它只是想要帮助我们大家啊!”

　　狮子回答：“这家伙每次嗑了摇头丸就拉着我像白痴一样在森林里乱跑!”

　　动物笑话：摩西和耶稣

　　burglar breaks into a house. He sees a CD player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around with his flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?". He spots some $ on a table and takes it. Once again he hears a voice "JESUS is watching you".

　　He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks "Was that your voice?". It said "YES". He then says "What's your name?". It says "MOSES". The burglar says "What kind of person names his bird moses?" The parrot replys "THE SAME PERSON THAT NAMES HIS Rottweiler "JESUS".

　　一个窃贼潜入一户人家。他看到一个喜欢的CD机，他赶紧拿了。就在这个时候他听到有人说：“耶稣正在看着你。”他照着手电看来看去，嘀咕着：“到底是什么人在说话?”这时，他看到桌子上有些钱，他又拿了。那声音又来了：“耶稣正在看着你。”

　　他躲到一个角落，想找出是谁在说话。结果看到一只鹦鹉，于是他问鹦鹉：“是你在说话吗?”鹦鹉承认了。 小贼说：“你叫什么名字?”“摩西”。小贼说：“什么人给鸟取这种名字?”鹦鹉回答：“就是那个给他的罗威那犬取名为‘耶稣’的那个人啊。”