恶搞的英语小故事

　　笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式，下面是小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语短笑话附翻译，欢迎大家阅读!

　　英语笑话：干净的杯子

　　joe and fred were helping to build a house in a village. the weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. they found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.

　　乔和佛瑞德在一个村子里帮忙盖一间房子。天气很暖和，到处都有许多灰尘。12点半的时候，他们觉得非常口渴，便停下来去吃午饭了。他们找到最近的一家酒吧，走进去坐下吃他们的三明治。

　　good afternoon, gentlemen. what can i get you? the man behind the bar asked.

　　下午好，先生。你们想要点什么?柜台后面的伺应问道

　　。

　　joe looked at fred and said, beer, i think. yes, a pint of beer each. is that all right for you, fred?

　　乔看了看佛瑞德说：我想，啤酒吧。好，那就每人一品脱啤酒。这样可以吗，佛瑞德?

　　yes, that's all right. fred said. then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, and i want it in a clean glass! don't forget that.

　　好的，可以。佛瑞德说。然后他转过去跟柜台后面的侍应说：我要啤酒装在一个干净的杯子里!别忘了。

　　the man behind the bar filled the glasses and brought them to joe and fred. then he said. which of you asked for the clean glass?

　　柜台后面的侍应倒满杯子后，拿给乔和佛瑞德，接着说：刚才哪一位要干净的杯子的?

　　英语笑话：斯威夫特博士与小厮

　　a wealthy old lady who lived near dr. swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant. dr. swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble. one day as swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcel on the desk and said, my mistress has sent you two of her rabbits.

　　在斯威夫特博士家附近，有一位富有的老妇人，她时常打发仆人给他送礼物。斯威夫特博士接受她的礼物，但从不给小厮任何酬谢。一天，斯威夫特博士正忙着写东西，小厮冲进了他的房间，把书一扒拉，将一个包裹扔在书桌上，说道：我的女主人送给你两只兔子。

　　swift turned round and said, my boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel(包裹) . now, you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.

　　斯威夫特转过身来说：孩子，包裹可不是这样送法呀。现在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎么送的，并要记取这个教训。

　　the boy sat down. swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. the boy said, come in. the doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, if you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.

　　小厮坐了下来，斯威夫特走出去，敲了敲门，等待回音。小厮说进来。博士进了门，走到桌旁说道：先生，我的女主人向您致以亲切的问候，并希望您收下这些兔子，这是她儿子今天早晨在地里打的。

　　the boy answered, thank you, my boy, give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.

　　小厮回答说：谢谢你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的儿子致谢，谢谢他们的关心。这两个先令是送给你本人的。

　　the doctor laughed, and after that, swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.

　　博士笑了，打那以后，斯威夫特从没忘记送小费给小厮。

　　英语笑话：没把头发全剪掉啊

　　miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. but this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. while miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.

　　麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发，但这是违反办公室规定的：职员只能利用自己的时间理发。一天，正当麦尔斯理发时，经理碰巧也进来理发，而且就坐在他旁边。

　　"hello, miles," the manager said. "i see that you are having your hair cut in office time."

　　"你好，麦尔斯，"经理说。"我看到你在上班时间理发了。"

　　"yes, sir, i am," admitted miles calmly. "you see, sir, it grows in office time."

　　"是的，先生。正是这样。"麦尔斯平静地承认了。"可先生，你看，头发是在上班时间长的。"

　　"not all of it," said the manager at once. "some of it grows in your own time."

　　"不全都是吧，"经理立刻说，"有一些是在你自己的时间里长的。"

　　"yes, sir, that's quite true." answered miles politely, "but i'm not having it all cut off."

　　"对呀，先生，你说得很对。"麦尔斯礼貌地回答说，"但我并没有把头发全都剪掉啊。"